WOW! Look, a post!

If you don't live here you might not yet know that we had a big snowstorm last week. We got about 26 inches in 24 hours. And it just keeps snowing. The roads are a mess, we're now at about 33.5 inches in 5 days. The normal snowfall for this area is 44 inches. Last year we got 92 inches. But not all at once and not accumulated on top of each other. This is all outside, it looks like the world has shrunk down to little people size. You know, little fence, little house, etc. We can't find Ryan's white Jetta; it's completely covered. Plus, it's white like the snow so it blends in.

Okay, a couple of the days it didn't snow. But it seems like it's been non-stop. I woke up Sunday morning waiting for the call that church was cancelled. But no. Then I waited for the announcements in Sacrament Meeting that we were only going to have Sacrament Meeting. But no. So I had to teach R.S. anyway. I guess it was good that I read the lesson Sunday morning. Still, not the worst lesson I've ever taught.

In other snow news, after the initial big storm where we got dumped on, in a momentary snowfall lull Ryan and the boys built a snowcave out of all the snow that'd been shoveled off the driveway. Lincoln liked it so much that he wouldn't come out. They've only been out the one day, and Ryan had to shovel pathways for them to walk around in because Lincoln kept getting stuck. Alas, the powder has compacted so that the cave needs to be re-dug, but as it's colder than a witches....um, well you know, that's going to have to wait.

Today the snow looks like cotton fibers. Still cold though. I do have pictures but you'll just have to imagine as they're still on the camera. Merry Christmas! Ours will be white, what about yours?

Name that baby

I turned 31 this week. For my birthday my SIL gave me a new nephew. He does not yet have a name. So I would like to take suggestions - just leave them in the comments. My SIL thought it would be fun not to find out what they were having (which I can't do, because surprises drive me absolutely batty, but good for her and all that jazz). However, apparently she really, really thought that number 5 was a girl because they never actually settled on a boy name, but had a definite girl name.

To give you an idea of what they like here are their other kids' names: Lauryn, Karley, Connor, Carter. So go to.

Lincoln 3 1/2 years

Aile 9 1/2 months

Aile's feet 9 1/2 months

Aack! Self-promotion - don't look if you don't want to know...

Don't laugh. Don't snicker. Stop giggling, it's not funny.

Uh hem. I have an Etsy store.

I'll wait until you've recovered from your shock and are able to close your mouth.

Ready? Okay. In said Etsy store I have finally put up some items for sale. If you're looking for hobby horses with a twist then you should visit it. If you're not, then don't go over there because, um, that's all that's in there right now. Hey, I'm happy that anything is there since I've had the fetchin' thing since August and this is the first time I've done anything with it.

So, just to clarify: Don't laugh. Don't snicker. Stop giggling, it's not funny.

Just take a deep breath...

Wow.

That last post was so not intended to be a political attack on anyone. My goal was merely to encourage everyone to be prepared - which is no different than the Church has been doing for decades.

If I could've blocked out the "Obama Impact" part of the video I would've. But if it's even possible (which it probably is) I possess neither the software nor the talent to do so. Seriously, I'm not trying to pick on anybody.

Follow the prophet...

I got an email that scared the crap out of me. So I found the interview which was cited in the email so you can have the crap scared out of you too. The guy's name is Gerald Celente and he owns a trend prediction company. His website is here if you want to check it out.

Here's the interview he gave with Fox News:



Do you have your years supply? This is not the first time that we've heard this predicted - this has been coming over the pulpit for years. This is just the first time that someone non-LDS related is making the prediction and putting a date to it (that I know of - and I don't care if I'm wrong about that, it's not really the issue here). Even if he's wrong, wouldn't you rather be as prepared as you possibly can?

Because what if he's right? Again.

It costs less than Bunko

I won at our Pinochle group tonight. WOO!

We totally played at being WOO! girls, which was goofy because we're all married. If you don't know what a WOO! girl is you need to watch more How I Met Your Mother.

9 months today

My baby.

My last child.

My little girl...



is starting to walk.



*sigh*

Stuff

Caden lost his first tooth today. The adult replacement is already halfway in, so it's about time. He was fairly brave and finally let me pull it out. I still need to get a picture of the toothless grin - probably tomorrow when he can flash his tooth fairy cash. I'm not sure what the rate of inflation is for the tooth fairy. I kept trying to get him to ask his friends what they're getting so it would all seem to be in line...you know, keeping the belief alive. Of course, he never remembered to ask, so we're winging it tonight. Couple dollars? Couple quarters? What do you think?

Also, in an interesting side note, I now have one losing baby teeth and at the same time one growing them in. Aile has four teeth (top two, bottom two) and with the amount she's biting me the last couple of days we're gearing up for another one really soon.

And in totally unrelated news we went and saw Quantum of Solace for our date tonight - it was conspicuously missing several Bond-isms. Although I felt lost for about half the movie, so that one was still there...

And lastly with the exception of exchange gifts we're done with Christmas shopping. Finally, finally getting ahead of the rush! We got to pick out what we wanted for the kids this year instead of picking over what was left. So much nicer.

If I had money, I'd be richer because I'm a mormon

Friday night was the school auction. We went and won nothing that we bid on, which was okay because we don't actually have any money to bid with anyway. Also, it was interesting to note how much inebriated people are willing to spend on anything. Part of the live auction was a dessert auction. Dinner was provided but then you could bid on different desserts to share as a table. Yeah, I thought they might go for like $25-30. Uh, no. One cake went for $330. That's not a typo. Everything else went for the more reasonable sums of $85-125. Needless to say, the mormon table I sat at had no dessert.

The main reason I went to the auction (because I am so selfish) is because I wanted to see how much my projects went for. My window went for $55 - it was in the silent auction. The class projects were all part of the live auction and I kept having to remember to close my mouth because of the amount of money they were going for. It made me a little giddy. The clock was the big loser of my projects and went for $130, the framed 7 picture mat and saying (which was my personal favorite) went for $175, and the flag for $265. Makes $50 a piece seem really reasonable, dontcha think?

I'm not sure how much money was made for the school, but I hope they hit their goal.

I've Been Found and You Can Help

I got an email from a friend from HS the other day. Then I called her and we chatted for like 2 hours. It was very productive. Turns out that everyone from our group is on Facebook, and I wasn't. So I joined. Ugh.

So. Resistant. To. Change. Aaaahhhh!

But now I'm reconnected with all these people who knew me when I wasn't such a nice person. Stupid teenage hormones. I've mellowed a lot people, I promise I am not that girl anymore. For the most part I avoid confrontation at all costs. Surprised?

But the saddest thing is a blog that I found for one of my friends. She was not a HS friend but an early marriage friend. She has a little boy the same age as Caden. And he has Leukemia. I cannot tell you how long I sat and just cried and cried as I read his story and looked at pictures. My heart aches for him and his struggle, and for my friend as well. I just can't imagine going through that with one of my kids. To find out more about them go here. You can also buy t-shirts and see pictures on their blog here.

They have a fund set up, if you feel able to open your heart and donate toward his recovery, I know that they would appreciate it and so would I. An account has been set up at the Bank of America (The Charlie Kennedy Family Fund) for those who would like to make a financial donation to the Kennedy's. I'm guessing that it costs a lot of money to drive back and forth from their home to Children's and back again.

Thank you, in advance.

I Voted

Like 3 weeks ago because Washington's all about the absentee ballot. Whoever you prefer, I hope you exercised your right and VOTED!

I feel pretty...oh so pretty...

My sweet friend Marilyn sent me a giftcard as a thank you, even though she shouldn't have (you totally shouldn't have). So I got a new pair of jeans. Levis. Um, I love Levis. Specifically I love the 515's because the pockets sit in the right place for me and make the backside of me look better than most other brands do. Everything else sits pretty well too; the waist, legs, etc. Plus I'm super-lovin' them because I bought them in a size smaller than I've been wearing. Yeah, part of that's the 1% spandex (which all my other jeans have, at the size that I have been wearing) and part of that is all the hard work (see my other blog if you want to know more).

Workin' my way back to smokin' hot. Okay, so just working my way back to thinner.

I still feel pretty.

I'm just a few days late

The boys out in the leaves

The little dinosaursMy baby bunnyHow she actually spent the evening

Why I was so stinkin' busy and couldn't blog - in pictures

The 5th grade project

The 6th grade projectThe 7th/8th grade project

Our auction donation

Any questions?

What my kids say...

7/16/08
Lincoln to Caden: You having a big attitude!

Caden to Dad while wrestling: You big lump of dirt!

Mom to Caden: What are you doing?
Caden: Getting a new pencil.
Mom: Why?
Caden: My other one is making a lot of mistakes

7/19/08
Caden: What's that smell? It smells like Cheerios or cardboard.

Mom: What did the goose look like when he came out of the egg?
Lincoln: He cried.

7/20/08
Lincoln: I scared Aile. With my face.

Caden (after bringing me the notebook to write down previous comment): Here you can write it down.
Mom: *giggles*
Caden: Write that down too.

7/21/08
Mom to Lincoln after Lincoln went potty: Wow, that's a lot of pee!
Lincoln: Yeah, it's a monster. See, there's his eyes and his face and his arms.

Lincoln (after snack): That was delicious!

Lincoln (got finger squished in the door): I got a bite from the door! Can we punch it?

7/22/08
Caden: I'm a guy who collects Trixars and Lucky Charms poppers.

Lincoln to Mom (while tying his shoes): You have crazy hands!

7/28/08
Lincoln (with hand motions/fingers): The cows have thingys and they squirt out milk.

8/4/08
Lincoln: There's a bug in my eye!
Mom: What's it doing in there?
Lincoln: Playing!

8/6/08
Lincoln: I broke the gate. It was a askident.

8/13/08
Explanation: Lincoln calls the Swiffer duster handle Mrs. Darling. I don't know why, but he always has. So today he was helping dust and kept saying (in a really high voice), "I'm Mrs. Darling. I'm a peacock!"

8/15/08
Caden during prayer: We're thankful for everything we have. Well, almost everything.

8/17/08
Lincoln to Dad while wrestling: You want a piece of me? Like pie?

8/30/08
Lincoln (while using screwdriver with dad): I like screwin' with dad.

8/31/08
Mom to Dad: I found this box of baby oatmeal from when Lincoln was a baby. Should I just toss it?
Dad: Yeah.
Lincoln: Hmm, I don't know, I'm a big boy now.

9/1/08
Caden (wearing Wiggles t-shirt): This is the only t-shirt I could find. Tell dad. I do NOT look like a goof!

Mom to Dad:.....or you could just play dumb, we never did get a notice....
Lincoln: Play dumb?
Caden: Can I play too?

9/3/08
Caden to Lincoln: This isn't a hammer, it's a rubber-band gun. Grandpa gave it to me. He spent years on this, and now he's got to fix it. I don't know if he can...

Lincoln: I like Caden. He's my hero.

Lincoln: I hide my money with ketchup and mustard.

10/7/08
Mom (playing charades):...think about what's at the back end of a dog.
Lincoln: That's poop!

If you scroll past the pictures I wrote something, too

I'm so very overwhelmed by everything I should be doing this week that I'm blogging instead. Apparently a common phenomenon, because my overstressed friend found herself doing the very same thing earlier today. And then we got on the phone and talked about doing it, thus further proving the hypothesis. Caden came home with a science experiment, so I'm all about the verbiage (it's a word).

We went and got pumpkins over a week ago. And since I'm so a techno-weenie I am just now posting the pictures because Ryan finally downloaded them. Sad, I know. But let's face it, left to my own devices I may not even remember to take the pictures let alone download and then post about them.

I have the cutest baby girl in the whole wide world.

If I survive this week I'll tell you all about my inability to say "NO" and the tight spot it can get you in when everything happens simultaneously. Oh wait, I just did.

I did not purposefully post everything running altogether, but I can't fix it, so just go with it.

Here we go again!

We had our Primary Program on Sunday. Caden did great on his part, had it all memorized and everything (which, since it was two whole lines wasn't that difficult for him). I was struck by the blatant amount of preferential treatment given to the primary presiden'ts kids. Which, okay, was probably only preferential in the eyes of parents and not as far as the kids were concerned. They just had the hugest and hardest parts even though one of them can't read (because she's six, not because she's dumb) and the other one no one can understand (Which sounds harsh, but it's the truth).

Anyhow, overall, it went well. But this was not my favorite Primary Program. No, that would be last year when my then Sunbeam Caden sang Latter-Day Prophets. The whole primary stood and sang, but Caden counted them out for you. Was he told to do this? No, he just took the initiative all on his own. Imagine if you will Caden in the very front with both fists raised high up in the air. Each time they sang a prophet's name he stuck one finger from both hands up at the same time - so both index fingers together, both middle fingers together, etc.

So: Latter-day prophets are number one (index fingers up) Joseph Smith, then Brigham Young (middle fingers up), John Taylor came third (ring fingers up) we know, then Wilford Woodruff (pinkies up), Lorenzo Snow (thumbs up - he now looks like he's giving you a high-ten with his fingers splayed. Quickly he makes fists again) Joseph F. Smith (index fingers up) remember the F., Heber J. Grant (middle fingers up), and George Albert Smith (ring fingers up), David O. McKay (pinkies up), was followed by Joseph Fielding Smith (thumbs up in the same high-ten-fingers splayed. Now my favorite part; he pulls his fingers back into fists and shouts loud enough for the entire congregation to hear, "HERE WE GO AGAIN!"). Then Harold B. Lee (index fingers up), Spencer W. Kimball (middle fingers up), Ezra Taft Benson (ring fingers up), Howard W. Hunter (pinkies up), Gordon B. Hinckley (thumbs up) leads the way, we hear and follow his words today.

So muck funnier in person than to type it all out, but you should have heard the laughter after the HERE WE GO AGAIN. I tell ya, it's going to take something huge to top that as my favorite Primary Program of all time.

Looking for a laugh? You can't go wrong here.

In gratitude...

My visiting teacher brought me flowers tonight. I can only say that this act of kindness speaks all the more because she is a wonderful woman who is frugal to a fault.

I am so grateful for the women in my life. For their generous natures, for their intuition, for their good hearts, and just plain being in tune with the spirit to know when someone needs them. I have always strived to be among this group and it is humbling to suddenly find myself among the group that stands in need of them.

So to all these women I say, 'Thank you.'

It's like trying to teach an old dog new tricks...

At what point do you become the 'old' dog, no longer capable of learning new tricks? Or rather, no longer interested in learning new tricks? Can I really change my life enough to actually change my lifestyle? Or is it so ingrained by now at my ripe old age of 30 that there is no hope left?

Say I want to eat healthier. I do. I really do. But in my life I have already had doughnuts and chili dogs and meat and COKE, and I like all those things. They taste good. I mentally understand that they are NOT good for me. And with enough self-discipline I can avoid them forever (or some semblance of forever - like say, a month so far). But will I ever stop WANTING them?

This would probably be easier if I was one of those people that read labels and got turned off by things that they can't pronounce because it's 'not healthy'. So not that girl. If you can't pronounce it that just means it's gonna last longer, thereby giving you ample time to eat it.

Lest you become deathly afraid for my poor body and the improper nutrition you fear is being inflicted upon it let me say this: I'm exercising tremendous self-discipline currently, and have been for a month now. I'm also exercising tremendously. My water intake is up, and blah, blah, blah, I'm trying to turn this Wide-Load Semi into a Mini-Cooper. So far so good (down 12 lbs so far, I weigh in again tomorrow).

Yeah, I have a weight-loss blog, and I'm posting all about this over there too, but it's become sort of all-consuming that it's literally what I'm thinking about all day long, and so if I don't post about THIS, then I won't have anything else to post about either. One track minded, apparently. (And so not the track that I'd PREFER to be on.)

Post #100

In the great tradition of bloggers everywhere, here's a list of 100 things you may or may not know about me.

1. I think seven layer bean dip tastes wrong when it's missing 2 of the layers.
2. I don't get PMS before my period, I get it during.
3. I used to eat ketchup sandwiches when I was young and lived at home.
4. I have 3 kids.
5. I have an Etsy store with nothing in it.
6. Overall, I would prefer to laugh than to cry.
7. I get uncomfortable when things get too serious.
8. But when push comes to shove, I am capable of holding my own.
9. Valerie means 'Strong' or 'Strength' - and I am.
10. I share a birthday with one of my sisters, just 2 years apart.
11. I have a lot of hobbies.
12. Reading is my most often practiced.
13. I am the 2nd of 4 children.
14. I married an introvert.
15. I am an extrovert.
16. I love my kids and get very mama-bearish when I feel someone's attacking them.
17. My secret ambition is to be a photographer.
18. But not until my kids are all in school and I can do it on my own terms.
19. I'm a big believer in being a SAHM.
20. I love family traditions.
21. I think anything done for one child should be done for all of them.
22. For each of my kids I do a cross-stitch birth announcement.
23. And a twin-sized quilt.
24. And I write a letter to them on their birthday. They'll get them all when they're older.
25. I am not a salesperson.
26. I am witty, some of the time.
27. I once won a trip to the '96 Atlanta Summer Olympics and gave it away.
28. My dad missed my HS graduation because he was in Nicaragua.
29. I found a puppy in the parking lot at the mall and brought it home.
30. My parents still have her.
31. I don't watch the news because it makes me upset.
32. Of course, I never know what's going on.
33. Mexican food is the best in the world.
34. Red Robin is probably my favorite non-Mexican restaurant.
35. I cook better than a lot of people.
36. But I have a hard time coming up with dinner ideas.
37. I love asparagus.
38. I am not as up on current music and artists as I once was.
39. I don't have a cell phone.
40. I have another blog about weight loss.
41. I have lost 12 lbs in 2 weeks.
42. I like cake decorating.
43. Sometimes I come up with really cool craft project ideas.
44. I had my last baby without any anesthetic.
45. It hurt, but in retrospect it was kind of cool.
46. We're done having children, but if I lose all the weight I want, I would consider being a surrogate (just my oven).
47. My feet grew 1/2 size since I've had my kids.
48. I like to play games: boardgames, cardgames, dice games.
49. I am one year shy of completing my bachelors degree.
50. I am more than one year shy of completing it in something I'm interested in.
51. I'm a Republican.
52. I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
53. My patriarchal blessing makes me sound awesome to myself.
54. I love to go to the temple.
55. I don't go as often as I would like.
56. I have really cool friends.
57. You can tell who your best friends are by those that can tell something is wrong when you don't say anything about it, and they let you know they are there for you if you ever need them.
58. I clean out my closet a couple of times a year.
59. I like to can things, but I don't always remember to feed my family what I've canned.
60. We have our year's supply.
61. I like poetry.
62. I got an A in college in Exposition and Argumentation. That's 'Debate'.
63. I would like to travel to lots of different places in the world.
64. I had a miscarriage between my 2nd and 3rd children.
65. At 30 I finally gave someone a Book of Mormon.
66. I'm mellowing as I grow older, and my husband is not.
67. My favorite calling I have had so far was Activities Committee Chair.
68. My calling right now is teaching 3rd Sunday in RS.
69. I have been in the nursery in every ward we've ever lived in.
70. I am punctual.
71. I like cookies. But I can no longer eat them.
72. I've never ridden in a limo.
73. I went to 2 Senior Proms in one weekend when I was a senior in HS.
74. I like to stop at the Duty Free Shop. I like to stop at the Duty Free Shop. I like to stop at the Duty Free Shop.
75. And I like Seinfeld.
76. I prefer a long bath to a long shower to relax. You can't read in the shower.
77. I like to watch football and hockey but not baseball or basketball.
78. I want to learn to be a crack shot.
79. I think my kids are hilarious.
80. I love my children, and I tolerate everyone else's.
81. I frequently identify people with what animal they look like, and then tend to refer to them as that animal in conversation.
82. I lose all tact when I'm pregnant.
83. I try to avoid conflict, to avoid offending others, but sometimes it happens anyway.
84. I'm a big believer in slow to anger, quick to apologize.
85. The longer I live without pets the less I would like to have one in the future.
86. I like nursery rhymes and take great pleasure in memorizing them and being able to recite them to my kids.
87. Same with children's songs and the nonsense songs my dad taught us.
88. And tongue twisters.
89. I got married at 20.
90. I have great inlaws - mom, dad, brothers & sisters, nieces & nephews. All of them.
91. I tend to romanticize things.
92. I suck at estimating.
93. I love dating my husband.
94. There are certain books that I re-read every so often. Like Little Women and all of Jane Austen.
95. I make awesome cookies.
96. I love nursing Aile. Not so much at 2 am.
97. I was extremely gullible as a child and teenager. I'm hopeful that I've outgrown it a little.
98. I still know the theme song to The Safety Kids.
99. I'm a fair-weather camper.
100. I'm trying to become more adventurous in my old age.

Watch Out - political, consider yourself warned

We're poor people - we're students, we benefit from a couple of state programs, we live off students loans. Ryan has a part-time job within his field that pays minimum wage. I don't carry cash because I tend to give it to panhandlers, and we don't actually have anything extra to give away right now. And I'm a Republican.

*Gasp* Did she just post that out loud on her blog where like 28 people may read it?!

Yup, I did.

I am a firm believer that everyone has a right to their political ideals, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm wrong because I lean to the right. Republicans believe in more of a hand-up than a hand-out - so yeah, be on a program while you further your education and need the help, but then GET OFF. When Ryan is done with school and has a job we will pay far more into the system than what we have taken out of it.

And someday, when Ryan's working that job and making an income, I, selfishly, want as much as that for our family as possible. Because HE earned it. HE went to school, HE did the work, HE got a job to make money for OUR family. If I wanted to pay 50% in taxes and wait 3 months for my turn for a doctors appointment I'd move to Canada.

Oh, no she di-int!

Oh, yes I did.

So all you democrats out there in bloggerville, hate me if you want to for speaking my mind. But I do believe that's what you all do, all the time. Just because Republicans are the silent MAJORITY doesn't mean that we don't have opinions, most of us just tend to keep them to ourselves. And oh my gosh, I'm posting my opinion on my blog.

I'd prefer Romney, but since he's not an option,
Go McCain!

Anything but a democrat.

As a general rule I hate conflict, and avoid it all costs. But I'm PMS'ing right now, so this is what you get.

Used To Be The Appalling Part Was That I Didn't Drink Coffee...

My very first PTSA auction meeting for our school we were talking about procuring items at different establishments and one of the women that co-chairs the committee pointed to me and asked, "Where do you buy your coffee on your way to work every morning?"

I looked at her and said, "I don't drink coffee and I don't go to work." She looked at me like she was appalled.

"So what do you do all day?"

"I'm a stay at home mom with a 6 year old, 3 year old, and 7 month old."

"So you have a lot of time on your hands."

Statement. Not a question. Just assumed that because I'm not working outside the home that I'm also not working INSIDE it either.

EXCUSE ME?! I work just as hard as a "working" mother only I don't get paid. I am the very best wife and mother that I know how to be. What I am doing now IS what I wanted to do when I grew up. And I do it really, really well. (That may sound like bragging, but it's not.) That does not make me uninteresting or boring. I have interests outside of what I "do" all day. And when I have free time (which doesn't happen all that often) I pursue those interests. I work hard at all the things that come last for "working" mothers; keeping my home, yard, laundry, dishes, children, spouse, and myself ready for what life throws at us.

And I'm busy. SO FETCHIN' BUSY. So busy that you may have noticed that blogging has begun to take a back seat. Even though I love blogging.

And I have stress. I don't need a "job" to have that.

And I'm a little bit annoyed.

Can you tell?

Could this post have any more "quotation marks"?

So, Bloggerville, what do YOU think? Am I overreacting? It's been known to happen. Or are you with me?

Ode to WICKED AWESOME SHEENA

WICKED AWESOME SHEENA is there for me. She saw a need and filled a need - just like in the Robot's movie. And she should be a movie star, because she's WICKED AWESOME SHEENA. What you people who have yet to donate (look at me all thinking positive) need to realize is that I will be happy with anything. If it's something that you've sold, such as Creative Memories like WICKED AWESOME SHEENA does, or just something cool you've got laying around your house that you wouldn't miss too badly to give it to a fantastic cause, it doesn't matter. Just be like WICKED AWESOME SHEENA and donate!

Okay, for WICKED AWESOME SHEENA everybody needs to send her mental images of a WICKED AWESOME vacation, because she so needs one, even though she's WICKED AWESOME SHEENA. Be prepared WICKED AWESOME SHEENA, with all the mental beaches-with-palm-trees pictures you're going to be recieving you may just find yourself feeling like you're somewhere you're not. A nice mental vacation for ya!

THANK YOU WICKED AWESOME SHEENA!!!

Ode to TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI

So, even though I thought people would just smirk and click away from my last post TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI jumped right in and donated for our school. TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI doesn't even live in the same state as I do, and yet her heart is so big and so TOTALLY AWESOME that she did it anyway. Everybody give her a mental high-five, because that's what TOTALLY AWESOME people do for TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI. Watch out TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI, you've got some major mental kudos coming your way from all 25 people who read this.

Now, it's not too late for you to become TOTALLY AWESOME either. Take a page out of TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI's book and donate for such a great cause and you too can have a TOTALLY AWESOME post like TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI got.

THANK YOU TOTALLY AWESOME HEIDI!!!

Yeah, I know it's bordering on Seriously So Blessed, but I promise and I deliver.

PTSA Power

Last year when Caden was in Kindergarten I paid $25 for a family membership to the PTSA and never used it once. We never went to any of the activities they had, I never went to the meetings, nothing, nada, zip, zilch. So this year, I did not join the PTSA and yet somehow I have ended up on the auction committee. It's the only fundraiser Caden's school does all year, which is nice because we're not having to buy crapping paper, or crap knacks, or overpriced candy bars that the children eat on the bus and then hand their parents a box of empty wrappers and then expect you to pony up a check for said eaten candy bars at $3 a pop which is next to impossible because you already spent all your money on book orders for the same stupid kid; but on the other hand, the parents do all the work. And I do mean all the work.

I somehow have wound up in charge of all of the class projects - just making sure they get done. They're suppossed to be some kind of memorabilia thing, so lots of handprints, footprints, pictures, signatures going on with those. And of course I got handed the project midstream, so half the classes have parent volunteers already doing projects and half the classes don't.

Deep thought for today: If you leave a message and nobody calls you back, did you really leave a message at all?

Uh, nobody called me back. Until like a week later and then one lady did. Okay, so I have 3 of the 8 class projects all to myself. Luckily I'm so fetchin' awesome that I have no problem doing three projects. It's tickling my creative gene to HAVE to do something, instead of just choosing to do something. And all this would be fine if that's all I had to do. But no, oh no. I have also been assigned a list of businesses to try to cajole freebies out of. Now when I was a teenager I hated asking for something because I thought people would freak out and chase me with an ax or something, but now as a responsible adult I realize that the worst they can do is say no. Unless, of course, they are secretly ax murderers, in which case all my teenage angst will come to fruition. (Ooo, that's a .25 word. Everybody has to send me a quarter.)

I will contact all my businesses but, if you have a business and you want to rate at the top of my awesome-o-meter you can donate something for our school auction. If you have no business and still would like to rate at the top of my awesome-o-meter do not despair! You too, may donate something cool to the auction. If you actually do this (and I'm totally holding my breath, ready, *deep breath*), I will do a whole post about you and how awesome you are, and your generosity. Oh, and whatever you donate would be totally tax deductible; so the more value to the item the better for you. SWEET!

Okay, I'm starting to turn a lovely violet shade, so get donating!

My Husband and I are Dating

Maybe I should clarify; we're dating each other. Instead of quarterly dates, we're doing the once a week thing. Like we've been Commanded.

Last week we went on a motorcycle ride, had dinner, and watched the sunset, and the full moon rise. And we made out a little while so doing, which is neither here nor there, but was still fun. And we're married, so we can do that and not be embarrassed about writing about it for all the world to see. Or at least, I'm not embarrassed. And Ryan doesn't read this, so...

Yesterday we went rock-climbing, which involves large amounts of exertion and sweat and trust, and usually large amounts of swearing from me, though not this time. It was a lot of fun to be together without the kids. I haven't been in a couple of years, so it was a good to get out there and refresh my memory of belaying and climbing techniques, etc. Plus, I have my own rock climbing shoes (that totally made me feel like a Japanese woman from the 1800's because climbing shoes are suppossed to fit tightly) so I looked awesome. I'm sure I really impressed all the little boy-scouts that were hogging all the routes that we wanted.

Next week it's Ryan's turn to plan the date, right down to getting a babysitter. It's suppossed to be something that the other person wants to do; kind of a making-you-think-about-your-spouse sort of thing. It'll be interesting to see what he comes up with. He keeps asking for hints about what I would like to do, and I just look at him and smile.

I'm a little bit mean.

So, hiatus over. Don't ask. Please.

I grew up in a rural area. We lived on two acres and over the course of my childhood had a pony, a horse, dogs, cats, and a multitude of beef (you know, steers. No? how 'bout this: boy cows that have been fixed). Anyhow, I remember feeding the little baby cows from a bottle, and I remember tromping out to the barn and feeding them hay and grain in the winter. I've worn barn boots in cow crap, I've seen hornbuds be cauterized, and I've seen the little rings put on the boy parts to make them, well, no longer boys.

This is part of my upbringing, it's part of my children's heritage (in a loose interpretation of the word 'heritage'). So why do they hate animals so much? I went to the fair with Lincoln the other day and walked through all the animal barns. He cried everytime we went into a new barn. He didn't like the goats, he didn't like the chickens and geese, he especially didn't like the cows. We didn't even attempt the pigs or the horses. I did get him to touch the sheep. But the rest of the time - argh! And the thing is there was fresh sawdust in all the barns, there was no big smell problem going on. He just. Didn't. Like it.

Caden is the same way. Every time the Jr. Livestock show happens Daddy always thinks it'll be great fun to take the kids and see the animals. Except they hate it and everyone whines and complains until you feel like trading them in for one of the cute little cows. At least we could eat the cow if it whined - not so with the children.

So what up fellow bloggers? (that's not a typo, that's my hip lingo, which I've already posted about...) Are mine the only ones? Any heritage shunning activities going on with your offspring?

Absent

I'm taking a hiatus for personal reasons. Sorry.

NieNie Recovery Fundraiser

So, I'm participating in Navel Gazing at It's Finest fundraising book for the NieNie Recovery Fund. This is not someone that I know, but it's a tragic story and I feel for this family. If you would also like to participate click on the links and follow the rules.

People I Actually Know That Should Be Doing This Because They're Funny:

Sheena - send your bike ride to the park post
Melanie - send your First-ling of our flock (w/o pictures) and/or A Girl Named Hot Chocolate
Holly - send a scaled down version of School Days about Alex and the power of smelling

And anyone else that I don't know your blog backwards and forwards, send what you've got that's funny. Interesting side note: if you send an original entry by Friday you could win $50 (not from me, from Sue at Navel Gazing).

It's a worthwhile cause.

How could they leave him unprotected like that!

Tom Brady is out for the season. The FOOTBALL season. I am so bummed because I love Tom Brady. He is one of the three reasons that I watch football. The other two reasons I watch are Bret Favre and Peyton Manning. So imagine my dismay that Brady is out, and Favre retired but then un-retired only to go to another team to MAYBE play. How will I get through the season? How will I know who to root for? What's a girl to do?

I do have to say, for those of you who think I'm insane (because I'm a girl, and girls don't watch sports) that football is the only sport that I can get into. It's very Goldilocks & The Three Bears for me: Baseball is too slow, Basketball is too fast, but Football is just right. And hockey is really only good in person (have you seen the blood bounce on the ice?) Plus, my husband is a student, and after 10+ years of marriage (I get to add the + because we're into our 11th year) I miss him when he's studying, and dumb as it sounds, watching football makes me feel like he's in the room with me when he's not.

I will try to look on the brightside: perhaps there is a new, hot, young, recently discovered quarterback just waiting to make my season. Don't be afraid to give me a heads up if you notice one. In the meantime, I'll be crossing my fingers, and my toes, and my eyes, and my legs, and my arms...

just a quick note...

Yes, you're looking at Kendra's layout. But in all fairness, she was done with it and she gave it to me. And now I'm happy, because I've been coveting it for as long as I've been blogging. Go ahead, make fun of me. Just don't forget that now it's mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

Thanks Kendra!

Where Would You Guest Star?

I could totally be a patient on House. Except I'm not dying. And I'm conscious. But other than that, I'm there. I have always had weird medical things happening to me. Like the time I was in 8th grade and bit my lip and it swelled to huge proportions instantly. Or the time I had such excruciating light sensitivity in my eyes that I couldn't drive and had to wear sunglasses in church. Or like right now when I have some sort of something up with my hands that I can't wear jewelry and they're all red and itchy gross. (GOOD MORNING! Hope you haven't eaten yet!) This time I thought I had eczema brought on by pregnancy, but I'm almost 7 months post-partum and it's only getting worse. So, off I go to the doctor for some serious professional help (which we all know I need), and hopefully some miracle cure because this is really, really annoying the you-know-what out of me.

Especially since I really like jewelry. I'm a ring person. I had really cool rings before I got married and then in a burst of romanticism I threw them in the bay when we got engaged because I didn't need any other ring than the one he gave me. (insert romantic sigh here.) Except I had this really cool silver ring that ten years down the road I want back but I can't find it anywhere. Oh, and my wedding ring. I really would like to wear that one again. Of course, Ryan hasn't worn his in the same amount of time that I haven't been able to wear mine. His issue is that he's gained so much weight that it doesn't fit anymore. Which really means it just needs to be sized. And it's not like he's really gained all that much. I like to tell him that now he looks like a person instead of a praying mantis.

A Bit of Bragging...(but just a bit)

Our ward has decided to go back to doing the once a month Enrichment nights instead of the small groups. Hallelujah! I hated the small groups, and apparently so did A LOT of women in my ward. So last night was our first official Enrichment in a loooong time. It was a fair and share - people shared talents for singing or playing musical instuments, or set up a booth of crafts they've done, or just things that made them happy. We had a dessert buffet, and a service auction with play money. There were also a couple of crafts. It was so nice to get out and socialize with the ladies - especially the ones that I don't get to talk to regularly.

I of course did a booth, because I'm so fetchin'* awesome. I had a jumble of things I've done including but not limited to: cross stitches, a hobby horse, a pillowcase dress, a scarf I knitted, and the memory quilt I did for my mom last Christmas. I just finished adding the pictures of Aile to it yesterday (they're below the quilt):

Thanks to Billie for the gorgeous pictures of my gorgeous kids. Hey! I'm no longer a depressingly pictureless blog. YAY!

* About the whole fetchin' thing: My husbands favorite mormon swear word is 'fetch'. Coincidentally, there is a show on PBS for kids called "Fetch: With Ruff Ruffman". It's about a cartoon dog that has a gameshow and sends real kids on different quests to try new things. So imagine my husbands delight the first time that he saw the show and the dog sends the kids out with the parting line, "Go get it you little fetchers!" - I thought he was going to have an accident of the unfortunate kind right there on the carpet. Of course, it wouldn't be the first time we had raw sewage on the floor in the basement, it just would have been an entirely different way of getting there than usual.

If I only had a maid I wouldn't need a Roomba

My children watch infomercials. They are watching one right this very instant. Invariably, they will come in and tell me that we NEED whatever product that is being hocked by people who had Hollywood aspirations but had to settle for acting in informercials.

This is not a new occurence. Caden routinely informs me that we NEED crap off TV. Lately it's been ADT, because it protects our house. We also NEED some kind of trimmer or lawnmower or something, the Works GT (?) because it works really cool. He will see some commercial and come running into the office and will actually write down the phone number so that I can call and get whatever it is that we NEED. This kid is 6.

He's always looking out for ways to make my life easier too, the little darling. He wants to get me a Roomba, so that I won't have to vaccuum so much. What doesn't seem to connect in his mind is the fact that HE is the reason I have to vaccuum so much, and if he'd just eat over the plate like we ask him too there wouldn't be so many dang crumbs on the floor to begin with.

Can I just say I'm understanding why my mom vaccuumed 19 times everyday. I am also seeing the futility of doing so. I can clean the whole house and revel in the cleanliness of my domain for about 20 minutes until the children come in from outside, or home from school, or wake up from their naps, and then it's like all these miniature bombs go off: kapow! Kapow! KaPow! KAPOW! No more clean house.

I think Ryan is taking the boys camping this weekend. Once I bid them a fond farewell, I'm coming in and cleaning EVERYTHING. And then I'm going to revel all weekend long. I may not even use the kitchen in an effort to keep crumbs down. I may even avoid the bathroom as long as possible and risk some horrible debilitating disease in an effort to keep the toilet clean. We'll see. And then, when I've had my fill of reveling in my sparkling house, I will welcome my boys home with open arms and cans of Lysol. I'm such a good mom.

I don't have a good title, so deal with it...

I know a lot of you thought that last post was goofy - "get a stat counter and move on Val" - yeah, yeah, yeah. But look at how many comments I got! Wahoo! That's a personal best for me. Look at me do a little dance....didja see that sweet move? Probably not since there's no video feed. Well, maybe next time. If you really want to see me move you should come on over and we'll have a dance party in my living room.

In other news, I went to church today (that's not the news), and spent a lot of time in the mother's room. Some of it was because of the baby, but some of it was just personal interaction with other lactating women. You can learn a whole lot about people when you're crammed into a little closet with three recliners that your grandmother bought new in 1967.

There's this one sister in my ward who is funnier than funny. If she would blog she would get all the attention and there would be none left for me, so I guess I'm glad that she doesn't. Except that it would totally make my day when she posted because her family is more screwed up than mine (no offense to my family, you know who you are).

And then there are the people very similar to dear, dear Sheena who are so introverted that you actually think they don't like you, when really they're just shy. (I'm not hurting Sheena's feelings, she knows how she is, but she's working on it. Way to be Sheena!) So, I may have slightly accosted this particular sister, but in a very nice way, and encouraged her to come to RS Thursday night. Hopefully she shows and begins making some friends, because I swear, she was a little jealous when I said I had a girls night.

I know what you're thinking, and I will invite her to girls night, but I have to get the anti-social one to come first. I've got her committed, she just needs a small group. So I'll rescue the shy one next month. Valerie C.- mother hen. Yeah, I totally stole that line from Janet Evanovich. But aren't we suppossed to liken all great books unto ourselves? You know, throw your name in instead of "ye", etc.? Same principle, just different author. And there might be some controversy about just how "great" the books are. Whole other tangent though...

Experiment Upon the Word, er, Comments

I'm wondering how many people are viewing this blog and not leaving comments. So, as an experiment, and to satisfy my curiosity, please leave me a comment. I don't care if it's annonymous, I don't care if you have nothing to say - you can leave a fetchin' exclamation point if you want to. I'm just curious, and if you value our friendship, or my self-esteem you will do me this solid. Do people say that anymore? Did people ever say that? I'm so not up on my hip lingo, as you can probably tell by my use of the term 'hip lingo'.

Oh, and please notice that I did say please. Pretty please, with sugar on top? Or maybe you don't go in for the begging. For you I say, I dare you. I DOUBLE-dare you. I DEE-DOUBLE-DARE you, which I've never heard of, but it's in the Berenstein Bears Double Dare book so it must be real. Right?

Maybe I'll give something away to the comment I like the most. I don't know what, and I don't even know IF, but you'll never know what you might've missed out on if you don't comment. Oh, and this is a family-friendly blog so you won't win what might be given away if you leave some sort of dirty, sweary-ish comment. But sarcasm is always appreciated.

Look at that - a whole post about nothing. I could totally get a job writing for Seinfeld if it was still on, and not just in re-runs.

Oh, and if you want to check out a super-funny post head on over here. That is all.

Blog On

I worked hard today. I got dirty and sweaty and smelly. And so at the end of the day I took a shower. And then in my towel, and only my towel I checked my Google Reader, and my email, and looked at pictures that fabulous Billie took of my family and kids. And then I wrote this post. Please notice the time, I'm not being inappropriate in front of my kids; they are all in bed. Um, do ya think I might be just the tiniest bit OCD about blogging?

Prior to starting a blog I didn't understand what people got out of Facebook or My Space, and probably not blogs, if I'd heard of them. I thought it was just one more way to distance yourself from human beings - which I'm totally all for, depending on the human in question. But since bowing to the pressure of society and Kendra I now get it. And I think that it's the same for everyone, no matter who you are or what you blog about. It's about letting your voice be heard, and sharing your point of view. It validates you as a person, and we all need that.

Okay, baby's waking up, and this is getting kinda deep for being written by a person in a towel, so, there you go.

Sigh

My Dad is going to Iraq for a year.

Observed: Sign-holder guy totally rocking out to Ipod on street corner.

Me to Ryan: Is that what you do on the bus?

Ryan to Me: That's why he has that job.

It's A Nice Place To Visit...

I have wonderful inlaws, I'm just lucky that way. The parents are great, the brothers- and sisters-in-law are great, and so are the myriad of nieces and nephews. But there are a lot of them (8 original children) and when we all get together it gets kind of crazy. These people just keep reproducing, and so the family just keeps growing (33 to date and 1 on the way). The really mind boggling thing is that 2 of the original kids are not yet married, and 3 have not yet begun to have children. But most of them are passive-agressive so there's not a lot of fighting like you would expect with a family that size.

Whilst we were visiting the relations this weekend we took a LARGE family picture - which would have been great fun IF we had started at 10:00 like we planned. Instead, the photographer stood us up. But those Carter's, they're resourceful. Since it is so rare to have everyone all together at once we decided to do it ourselves, which of course took a little time to run back home and get the necessary equipment. And then more time to figure out where in the park would be best, and then even MORE time to figure out an arrangement that was pleasing to the eye. All this on top of standing around for a good half hour before deciding that we had indeed been stood up. But we finally got it together and took a bajillion pictures (probably more like 20 or 30, but it felt like a bajillion) and got it done.

By the time we finished it was 1:00 which every mommy knows is past lunch time and now into nap time, and the children were evidently willing to prove it. I do have to give the little ones credit - for the most part they held it together really well, and the fit throwing was kept to a minimum. Our kids were rewarded with happy meals and ice cream cones at McDonalds (don't leave me comments about the evils of using food as a reward - it totally works). I would post one of the shots but of course our copy of the CD doesn't work (of course).

The worst thing about this trip is the magnificent colds that we had - it just makes every bit of life seem harder when you want to rip your head off and use the dental spit-sucker-thingy to clear out the sinus cavaties in your face.

Medaling in ?

I'm loving the Olympics! At night Ryan and I settle into the couch for some vicarious sports living. In my head I totally have Dara Torres' body - in real life I have more of the sumo wrestler variety. At any rate, I'm actually enjoying them this year - largely due to the fact that they're not interrupting regularly scheduled programming right now. Can't wait to find out where they'll be in 4 years so that I can get excited and then immediately stop caring until right beforehand.

The other night we caught some badminton. Seriously? Badminton is an Olympic sport? Even when they hit the shuttlecock (my inner teenager giggled when typing that) hard it can't go very far - it's full of holes! I also can't believe that walking is an Olympic sport - uh, you walk everyday, don't you? Shouldn't walking be reserved for the paralympics? It's way more impressive when people who can't walk, walk. But I digress. Ryan tells me that he could medal in badminton. Of course I had to make fun of him about that.

But it got me thinking....If I was an Olympian, what would be my sport? I think I could totally get into the platform diving, except for the whole 3-stories-head-first thing. Or gymnastics would be awesome! But I'm no longer a prepubescent girl....

Hmmm, maybe I need my very own sport to be added to the games. Some kind of tri-athalon maybe? Deep cleaning 1800 sf of house while balancing the checkbook and feeding 3 kids....or a marathon of laundry - washing, drying, folding, ironing (look at her go!). (Umm, who irons anymore, that's what the fluff setting on the dryer is for...). Shouldn't childbirth be an Olympic sport? I know I'd totally take gold in that because once I hit 4 cm it only takes an hour to deliver. The only problem there is that we're all done (YAY!). I guess I'll have to keep thinking.

What would your sport be?

It is, afterall, the key to discipline

This is turning into a depressingly pictureless blog. For those of you who are checking for family updates, I apologize. For everyone else, you could care less, so whatever.

FYI on our FAM-ily:

Caden starts school on Tuesday. He only had a six week summer, which on the one hand was really short, but on the other hand was just right. He's going to be in first grade, and for the first time in his life he will be spending more of his waking hours with his teacher than he will with mom and dad. He's feeling a little conflicted because he likes school but he "just loves (his) family so, so, so much," that he doesn't want to leave us during the day (as he sobbingly told me the other night). I think once we get back into the swing of things he'll be just fine.

Lincoln is now fully potty trained. But even as I write this I knock on wood because it doesn't mean he won't have accidents (as evidenced by the last couple of days), but it does mean that he knows where he's suppossed to go, and gets there 95% of the time. He will go to pre-school this fall, but not until late September. This will be a new experience for us, because Caden never went to pre-school. Lincoln knows the alphabet (upper and lowercase) and the sounds each letter makes (but he has a hard time with "y", he thinks is should say "wuh"), numbers (can count to 20), colors, shapes, etc. He's ready. He keeps talking about "his school". I'm excited for him.

Aile is crawling everywhere. We finally had to put the gate up because she is so fast that we couldn't chance just walking into the bedroom for 1/2 a second - she likes to follow and that's just a little too close to the top of the stairs for comfort. She is 5 1/2 months and since she's mastered crawling she has decided to start pulling up on the furniture and everything (and everyone) else. She just has to keep up with those big brothers. She also has cut her two bottom front teeth, and loves baby food. She is such a happy baby - I'm so glad we have her.

Ryan is working away at his summer job and doing fun things with the boys - tonight they're all sleeping in the tent in the backyard. Or at least they're suppossed to. We'll see how long Lincoln actually lasts....

Of all the fun things that we've done lately we have not managed to take a single picture, so sadly, this remains a depressingly pictureless blog. But at least I'm consistent.

Do You Understand The Title Of My Blog?

The other day as I'm having my daily Coke (wish I could do the diet route but it's so nasty), Caden, in all his 6 year old glory asks if it has caffeine in it. Crap. I've been getting around giving them sips when they ask by saying that it's a mommy drink. But we recently bought some 7 Up and since he can read (darn it all) he noticed that the can said caffeine-free. So that brought up a discussion of what caffeine is....well, it's a drug. And we've already had a drug talk, so he knows that you don't take drugs unless it's something that mommy or daddy give to you (because Tylenol is a drug too, I'm not giving my kid crack or anything).

Anyway, so now he's made the connection that the "mommy-drink" has a drug in it. He asks me, "Oh, so that must be a good kind of caffeine since you're drinking it." No, there is no good kind of caffeine. "Then why are you drinking it if it's bad for you and it's a drug?" Good question kid. I can't tell him that I can't get through the day without it, because I have a baby, and I need that extra shot of energy that it gives me (or at least I think I do), so the only answer I can give him is that I shouldn't.

Does this mean I have to quit Coke? It would probably speed up my weight loss, so that would be a benefit, but on the other hand, I don't want to.

Ahhhh, it must be one of my sins I'm not willing to give away. That and my Janet Evanovich books. I'm packing all of those in my handbasket.

I Have Arrived!

I've been getting all these comments (okay, so just two or three) from people I don't know who said that they found me on Mormon Mommy Blogs. I thought, "oh, they mean Mormon Mommy Wars and just are calling it blogs on accident." I thought maybe they were reading through the comments on the last post and liked my comment and then linked to me, because I'm certainly not listed on their side roll thing as something to check out.

I apologize, I am an idiot.

After the last comment I got suspicious and actually checked out Mormon Mommy Blogs. Imagine my surprise as I scrolled down through the section entitled "The Lighter Side" and found my blog.

I do know that this is another blog of one of my favorite bloggers that I have never met, Sue from Navel Gazing At It's Finest. And I've left comments on her posts before too, and I know she's seen my blog at least once because she left me a comment (and I just about died of happiness - that's a little pathetic, as I'm sure you're aware) so I guess she liked me well enough to add me to her listings even though I didn't request it (and even though I compared Stephanie Meyer to Jane Austen and she called it HERESY!, just like that in all caps).

Note to Sue: I am NOT complaining. Please do NOT remove me from your wonderful, wonderful site. This is doing so much for my self-esteem that I may even bend over and remove it from the toilet. Please note how many times I have linked to you and know of my (platonic) love for you. Here's one more for good measure.

So, Yay for me! Although now I'm feeling all this pressure.....must....be....funny!

Like You've Never Done This (or that, or that)

1. Just after my second child was born we found ourselves at Walmart on a jam-packed Saturday night. Must have been date night because we were in the music section. Since the baby was so new we of course had brought him along (of course). He was riding shotgun in the carseat carrier in the seat of the cart. Those car seats sure are tall. All of a sudden my husband says, "Whoa, honey, watch out!" I look over the baby to see that I'm pushing a woman in a wheelchair with the cart.

I'm still waiting to receive a dirtier look than the one she gave me.

2. Very recently, while my husband was out of town, I had the supreme pleasure of herding all of my cats to church. Wait, I mean my children. Like any practical woman with 3 kids and no help, I nursed the baby before leaving the house.

I should note here that I did not buy nursing bras after this baby. Instead I bought faux nursing bras. Faux in that the strap detaches at the top of the cup, but it wasn't actually designed for nursing. Works for me.

So halfway through Sunday School, in my skirt and white button down shirt (yeah, you can see where this is going), the baby decides she needs just a little more. I go into the mother's room and discover that the right cup of my bra is still folded down. Nursing pad and garments are covering the pertinent parts, but I have been wandering around with my own little show going on and not realizing it.

Why didn't anyone tell me? Is it a bigger social faux pas to inform the wanderer that they're half-dressed than to be the wanderee?

And just because I believe in decorating in odd numbers, here's a third story.

3. In Relief Society one Sunday I was substituting as chorister. We had a fine opening song, a very serious lesson, and now it's time for the closing song. The pianist (who chose the songs we were singing) struggles through the introductory notes, and we start singing. Or we would have if anyone had ever heard this song before.

You know how people mumble when they don't know the words? This was worse. Not only did no one know the words, no one could follow the music either because the pianist didn't know what she was playing. Halfway through the first verse I started laughing, and then the pianist did. We tried several times to start again but we just couldn't connect. By this time everyone in RS is laughing too hard to get through the song. Kindly, one of the little old ladies in the 2nd row finally suggested that we just call it good.

I've always thought that when people leave social situations they tend to think about how they acted and what they said more than what anyone else said or did. Except this time. They were still talking about this the following week.

In real life, I provide the comic relief.

Things I've Called My Landlord About

- The time that the laundry room smelled like bacon.
- The time that the hot water heater wasn't working.
- The time that the knobs on the washer and dryer broke.
- The time that the grass was so long it was going to seed.
- The time we had brown water coming into the washing machine.
- The time the garage door was bouncing.
- The time the garage door wouldn't work.
- The time that the stairwell light wasn't working.
- The time that the smoke alarms kept going off.
- The time that I was worried about mold in the basement.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.
- The time that we had a flood.

I realize some of these make me look stupid, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I will tell you that the bacon smell stumped the landlord too. He's a builder and was calling his electrician, the plumber, everyone to see if they could think of what the smell could be coming from. Everybody's first question was, "Is she COOKING bacon?". Umm, I'm not THAT stupid. Since we couldn't figure it out he just said to let him know if it got worse. Then he went next door to ask the neighbors about something unrelated and discovered that the smell was from some extremely strong sausage that they were cooking (the laundry rooms and kitchens match up in our duplex).

We gave the landlord a box of bacon for Christmas that year.

I'm not a TOTAL copycat, I did scrounge up my own quotes

These are random movie quotes from movies I liked. Most of them I've seen more than once - and quite a few of the quotes I use in real life. Hopefully you've seen some of them too or this is gonna be lame. You tell me which movie they came from....see, it's a game! Uh, but no prize - just the feeling of a job well done. Good luck!

1. It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable. - Pride & Prejudice
2. I do not wear shoes, they make me fall down. - The Birdcage
3. There's no crying in baseball! - A League of Their Own
4. I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place. - Ocean's 11
5. Good times - noodle salad. - As Good As It Gets
6. Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs. - Die Hard
7. What we need is a plan. A p-l-a-n. - Sgt. Bilko
8. I said "IF". - Cinderella
9. Way to go I-da-ho! - Toy Story
10. If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date. - Ocean's 12
11. I'll be by the second palm tree on the left. The usual palm tree. - An Ideal Husband
12. I don't want to go on the cart! - Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail
13. ...picked up the dagger, ran down the hall, and stabbed the cook. - Clue
14. Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter. - Napolean Dynamite
15. Did you think that was fast? I thought that was fast. Well, was it? - Maverick

Just Reinforcing the Belief

I've had weird dreams all my life: I've robbed the food court at the mall, and then felt so guilty that I tried to give all the money back before they could arrest me; I've beat the crap out of multiple people; I've been able to run/jump so well that my feet only touched the ground at each telephone pole; I've been eaten by a mechanical spider; Dinosaurs have visited me; My teeth have fallen out; I've startled myself awake before by screaming or shaking; the list goes on and on.

But never, NEVER, until last night have I physically hurt myself while sleeping. This was not just that I slept wrong and was sore somewhere...no, no, that would be too normal. No, I was dreaming about smacking someone behind me in the face (violent dreams, I know) and my arm responded and my hand hit the headboard and now my hand is bruised below my thumb. It's also a little swollen and very sore.

The majority of you already knew I was weird, right? And for those of you who didn't....don't judge me - you haven't been translated yet either. :)

Opportunity Lost

I have made a new friend who is moving away. The very sad part is that we could have been friends for three years, but have only very recently discovered how much we have in common and how much we like each other. Between her shyness and my "putting on a good face" for people (don't start, I'm trying to fix the problem), we have wasted almost three years of what would have been a fantastic friendship. I fully intend to keep in touch with her, and I have a feeling I will count her among my dearest friends, but it makes me upset that we did this - and I know it bothers her too.

I am going to try harder to reach out to people, because this is a lesson I don't want to repeat. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted and have a friend - so if I have to be the one to reach out, then I will. But if I reach out to you, will you do me a favor and reach back and meet me halfway? So much easier all around.

Thanks to the ladies for a great girls night last night - it's the longest one I've had in a while. Sheena, I expect a blog link very, very soon. And I will miss you, my friend.

My Favorite Commercial Ever

Thanks to SuperSix4 for clueing me in...whoever you are.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

I can't figure out how to post a video from You Tube. Could you clue me in?

Chicken? Why, Yes I Am

Yesterday we helped my parents spread 4 yards of bark around. Afterward, dad suggested we take out the motorcycle and spend some time together.

HA. HA. HA. (Did you see the title of this post?)

Ryan didn't need to be asked twice, and since I'm trying not to be boring or vanilla I played along like it sounded like fun. While Ryan got the bike ready I snuck back in and told my mom where to find our wills. Just to be clear, I have no doubt about Ryan's ability to drive the motorcycle....it's all the other crazies on the road that I worry about. Dad wanted us to go out to the casino in Idaho (backroads all the way, very pretty), but we ended up just running down to Freeman and then back up Dishman-Mica for a fairly short ride. Turns out all that hiking Ryan did in field camp is wreaking havoc on his hips, so the ride wasn't that comfortable for him.

The biggest surprise is that I actually had a good time (and even relaxed enough to enjoy it and not lean the opposite way when we turned) by the end of the ride. So we'll probably do it again sometime. Plus, mom already knows where the wills are. ;)

I'm a Copycat

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. Thanks!

Now, no one is required to play in order to read my blog. Just thought it might be fun.

P.S. nothing too personal, this is a family sight you know! :)

RYAN IS HOME!!!!!

So I won't be blogging for a little while.....:)

I screwed around with my background and lost all my links, so if you don't see your name or site on the right and you want it there, leave a comment and I'll add you in.

Yes, I know it's still the same background. Why mess with perfection?

5 Pet Peeves: not necessarily the most annoying of all time, just the most annoying currently

1. People who take the sacrament with their left hand. (Check this out if you think I'm silly) - scroll down to the 2nd question.

2. People who talk OVER you.

3. Punctuality - I'm for it.

4. People that try to make me feel stupid because they don't understand what I'm saying.

5. People who use "always" and "never" as qualifying terms when they mean "sometimes".

I know I have issues with "people". This is why it's good that I don't work out there in the "real" world - I don't get along well with others. That is to say, I get along well with people that I enjoy and choose to be around, but I've never had a job where I got to choose who to be around. Although the last time I actually held a job was 6 years ago, so maybe things have changed.

Don't hold your breath.

I Really, Really Love My Kids

I got inspired a couple of months ago by Kendra's post of the things her kids said that she remembered to write down. And lest we forget that this is a "family" blog, here's my own, much shorter list:

I don't know the date for this first one, but Caden was about 4:
Caden (saying the prayer for dinner): Dear Heavenly Father, To Infinity and Beyond,...

5/15/08
Lincoln (after singing Wheels on the Bus): You're a mommy!
Me: You're right
Lincoln: I'm a kid - I'm all growed up!

Lincoln: I want to play My Little Spy

Caden reading from Highlights magazine: When is a dog's tail like a farmer's cart?
Dad: I don't know, when?
Caden: When it's a waggin' ha ha ha!
Dad: Do you get it?
Caden: Yeah, do you get it?

Lincoln pointing at the moon: There's the Earth

5/19/08
Me: We have to go home and get ready for Kimber
Lincoln: So you can go run?
Me: Yeah
Lincoln: Run for your lives?

5/21/08
Me: Lincoln, come here, I want to check your teeth
Lincoln: My teeth can't shine!

5/22/08
Lincoln: What kind of chicken is that?
Me (cutting up chicken): It's raw chicken, don't touch it.
Lincoln (running to the table): YUM! We're having raw chicken!

5/25/08
Lincoln: Ow! My bum hurts!
Me: Your bum hurts? We should probably change you.
Lincoln: No! There's marshmallows in there!

5/26/08
Lincoln: I want to touch the clouds.

6/1/08
Caden to Lincoln: Your breath smells like rotten cheese!

Caden to our friend Dave: That's ball-pit-in-the-ocean funny!

6/13/08
Caden: Where did you go for your date?
Me: We went out to dinner
Caden: Where?
Me: Outback
Caden: Outback where?

Me to Lincoln (after his shower): Are you all clean now?
Lincoln: Yeah, and shiny!

6/15/08
Lincoln (during dinner, Dad holding Aile): Can Aile have some?
Me: No, she doesn't eat food. What does she eat?
Lincoln: Milk - from your thingy's.

6/18/08
Lincoln (pointing at a picture): What's that?
Me: It's a bat
Lincoln: Bats are scary. It have a pig nose.

7/1/08
Grandpa to Lincoln: Do you want me to give Annabelle a squirt bottle and let her squirt you?
Lincoln: NO
Annabelle: Well it's gonna happen anyway!
(admittedly not my kid, but still very funny)

Caden: I know how to say yellow in spanish: Armadillo!

7/8/08
Lincoln (after passing gas): Excuse my bum. My bum burps!

Lincoln: I'm hungry
Me: Me too. What are you going to cook for breakfast?
Lincoln: I don't cook, you're the grown up, you cook the cereal!

Lincoln: Can I have a cookie?
Caden: Yeah, today I need to lower my sugars a little bit.

7/10/08
Lincoln (outside in the wind): Can you turn off the wind thingy?

I promise to post shorter posts in the future...just keep commenting! I'm finding my self-esteem tied into comments in a most depressing fashion - and after several posts with high quantities of comments (well, high for me) I've become an addict. Am I the only one who gets like this? It's probably just me. Is it? Yes, it's just me. Right? You don't have this problem do you? No, it's probably just me.

Horses Sweat, Men Perspire, Women Glow

Yesterday we had another flood in the basement, so my dad came to the rescue with a big shop-vac and a big fan. He stayed and hung out with us and did a lot of the clean up for me, for which I am very grateful. I tell you there's nothing quite like stepping out of the shower to the sound of the flood alarm and running into raw sewage wearing nothing but a towel. Caden and Lincoln were so helpful - they turned the TV up so that they could hear their show over the shrieking alarm. SO HELPFUL.

Caden's been riding a little bike that he's had since he was three and the training wheels needed to be adjusted, so my dad my hero, took the bike and the two boys to his house to fix them. Then he took us all out to dinner - wahoo! (I love to eat out - I have a very unhealthy relationship with food = treat, anyway...)

This morning I adjusted the seat on Caden's bike, and even all the way up he couldn't extend his leg out to get enough power to ride on the grass. Since I am such an awesome mom I said, "let's go get a new bike." My kid actually complained about this for five minutes. I had to convince him that he would like a new bike as much as the old one, that as we grow we need bigger things, blah, blah, blah.

We hop in the car and go to Toys R Us and he picks out a bike that he can live with (and more importantly, that we can afford - ha!), and we get training wheels, the bike assembled, the whole shebang. We pay, get out to the car, and the stupid thing won't fit into the back of the car. I tried everyway I could to get it to fit, but short of laying the backseat down (which I can't do 'cause of the three kids sitting in it) the stupid bike is not going in.

But I'm resilient, I figure it will fit in the front passenger seat - after all, no one's sitting there. I finally do manage to wrestle it in there, never mind that it's halfway in the drivers seat. I go around and get in the car and Lincoln says I haven't buckled him. Back around I go and buckle him up. Have I mentioned it's like 10:30 am and boiling outside? I'm glowing like a pig. Okay, so we finally get going and I manage to get us home.

By the way, ALL of the roads around my house are torn up and closed off because they're putting in sewer lines - so we have like a 9 mile detour to get anywhere. I'm not exaggerating - 9 FREAKIN' MILES!

We get the bike out and I'm handy, so I'm putting together the training wheels and then go out to put them on the bike, and I can't make them fit. I called my dad - Hero Extrordinaire. He comes over and he can't make them fit either (which made me feel a little bit better - it wasn't just me).

WARNING: Do NOT buy a chinese bicycle and american training wheels; they are NOT compatible.

I got ready to take the training wheels back to the store and try to find some others that would fit, when Ryan called. He said Caden doesn't need training wheels, so we went over to the church to give him some space to practice - Caden needs training wheels. I take Aile and do the running around. By now it's about 3:00 pm, I'm sticky with glow and the kids have been driving me crazy, traffic's a witch with a capital 'B', and I'm hanging by a thread.

I finally get home, my dad put the new training wheels on (which still barely fit), Caden got to ride his new bike, everything worked out great. But the process - HOLY COW.

It may be my own fault though, I think I prayed for patience when Ryan left.

Okay, in an effort to get thin, my blog now has a "Sista From Another Mista". Check it out and join in if you want to - this is my way of being accountable to someone.....y'all.

Please tell me that I'm not like this. If you read it, you'll notice it's satire - completely making fun of people who are like that. And I guess I'm feeling a little insecure because I totally do like some of the things that she's making fun of....I think it's fun when people get creative with announcing pregnancies, and I LOVE TWILIGHT, and what's wrong with posting pics of your kids? I do get it, I do, I just don't want to be what she's talking about.

And if I really am like that, at least I have better grammar and know how to spell. ;)

Men Should Look Away, NOW!

Seriously, look away. You really don't want to read this. Okay, but you've been warned!

I'm fat. Just to get that out of the way. Whew! They say that admitting you have a problem is the hardest step (I don't think so, I think taking the weight off is the hardest step.) I've passed the demure title of overweight and now fall squarely into fat. Since the time that I've been married I have at most 3 or 4 times found the resolve to lose weight - then I'd get pregnant or have some kind of emotional stress and put it right back on.

But here's the deal: Ryan has one year of school left for his BS and he wants to go right into his masters, and he's looking at several different schools one of which is WWU in Bellingham, just down the road from where I grew up. Now, I don't care if we move to Arizona and new people get to know me and I'm still the size I am now - because that's all they'll know. But I reeeally don't want to move back to Bellingham and run into someone I used to know when I was a size 6 looking like I do now.

(music to You're So Vain starts playing)

Someone I Used To Know: Oh, is that Valerie (last name here)?

Me: Yes, yes it is.

Someone I Used to Know: Wow! I hardly recognized you (looking me up and down).

Me: Ummm.....

Someone I Used to Know: You really have changed over the years, haven't you?! (staring at my muffin-top)

Me: Well.....

Someone I Used to Know: I'll have to tell my son (you used to date) that I saw you and how different you look now! 'Bye! (Translation: Boy, will he ever be glad he married a woman who cares about her appearance and hasn't let herself go.)

Fortunately for me, Someone I Used to Know is fatter than me so I can leave with my self-esteem intact, only a little bruised.

So, help me find my resolve (and I'm not talkin' carpet cleaner) because I don't want to have that conversation, and it really is uncomfortable when nothing fits, and a muffin-top looks good on no one. What's worked for you in the past or currently? Or just keep leaving me comments addressed to "Fatty, Fatty, two-by-four".

I think what I really need is someone to email me everyday and make me responsible. I've tried assigning this to Ryan in the past and it doesn't go over that well, because even though I told him to say things to me, it makes me mad when he says the things I told him to say. Can you believe it? Any takers? Uh huh, didn't think so.

Apparently, I have selective vanity.