hopefully quickly

Over the last three weeks Joe and I have seen each other everyday. Many a time the kids were with us too (mine and his). All of the kids get along like gangbusters, which makes them want to spend as much time together as possible. Caden and Lincoln now have 3 and 2 sleepovers, respectively, under their belts. And my children who have never ever ever in their lives listened to men as authority figures have learned to listen to Joe. I swear, he just has this way about him.

It's been the best three weeks :)

However, today we took Joe back to the airport. He's been called back to work on a boat in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico with three hurricanes going on in the area. I'm a little less than thrilled.

We're all going to miss him. Can't wait for the next month or so to pass...

It's a nice feeling, I could get used to it ;)

I've started running. I'm up to 3.5 miles a day, which is the most I've ever run in my entire life. This post is not really about that. I'm sure the 5 of you reading this also read the weight loss blog and are therefore already familiar with my running ways. This post is about something that happened on the treadmill today.

A little backstory for ya....I'm slowly dating a guy that lives in Spokane but works on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico. So he's currently on the boat. Most of the time when he's in port we can text back and forth and we do, but when they have to actually go do a job out in the middle of nowhere then we lose touch. For some reason there are no cell signals out in the middle of the water...pshaw! poor planning on the cell phone companies part.

Anyway, he's back in port today, and we were texting whilst I was running on the treadmill. Very hard to do, I don't really recommend it. He knows I've been working at it and asked me how it was going. I told him I was gaining muscle and losing fat. His response?

"Sweet...getting hotter...if that's possible"

Now, it's hot in the Gulf of Mexico, and really muggy where he is. He tells me about the weather down there almost everyday, and I haven't talked to him in a couple of days. Also, for the entire time I was with my ex I had to fish for every compliment I ever got. Really kind of negates any compliment you do get. And after 12+ years of fishing I felt the need to clarify..."The weather?" I asked him.

"No, you silly" was the response I got.

I'm sure that all of you with super loving and supportive husbands will look at that and go "So?" But I'm telling you, that made my day. :)

Summer Quarter Grades

4.0
4.0
4.0

Awesome ;)

Some of what we've done...

We went to the park in Coeur d'Alene. There's this great restaurant that serves giant ice cream sundaes, so of course we stopped in there. We also walked along the beach and the boardwalk...This last weekend we went to visit some friends in Vancouver, WA...we hit the Portland zoo, a local park and swimming hole, and then the beach at Seaside, OR. All the kids got along famously which was awesome as those were the hottest days of the summer. Two nights the three boys camped in the backyard with no adult supervision...ah, new experiences ;)

And then the kids went back to school today. Summer is over for us...short but sweet!

There was a time in my life that I needed to blog. I needed the creative outlet it provided for me, and me alone. This was a blog about my life...sure the kids and the husband were part of that, because my whole life revolved around them. But ultimately, it was about me.

Selfish, selfish woman.

Now, I'm divorced and I don't have time to blog. This sits out here is cyberspace collecting cyberdust and probably cybermothballs. Every so often I throw it a bone and type something on it, (yes I know I just mixed my metaphors, go with me now) but it's more of a guilt trip than anything. 'Remember that poor defenseless blog that you started and then just up and abandoned?'...that's what I hear calling to me, mocking me.

And do you want to know why I have abandoned it? Because I feel like before I wanted people seeing what my life was like, and now I don't. I'm a divorced mother of three great kids. But my life is more about me now than it ever was before. I don't need this blog as a reminder of what a failure I am as a mother because I simply don't have the time to devote to them that I once had. I have school. And homework out the wazoo. And a social life....which in all fairness is a once a week outing that I take for my personal sanity. But I don't get to play with them like I once did, I don't make cool dinners, or bake cookies, or do crafts, or go on outings, or any of the cool things you see on every other Mormon Mommy Blog. Divorce sucks worst for the kids.

So until such time as I have something more positive to report, my poor little abandoned blog is destined to remain abandoned.

Sometimes we do fun stuff

Spring Quarter Grades

4.0
4.0
3.7

It seems I'm slipping ;)

It's so great that Caden's 8!

My son, my oldest child, my baby, turned 8 years old today. Of course that means that we have a baptism on the way, so we are busily preparing for that as well as the big birthday party this Saturday. Yes, that's the ghetto cake for his actual birthday, but the party one should be much, much cooler.

Caden is so fantastic! Here's 8 things you might not know about him: 1. He doesn't like fruit, but he looooooves vegetables. 2. He's really into science and creating things. 3. He has a terrific sense of humor. 4. He's incredibly smart, and pulls the class averages in reading and math UP. 5. He loves to play Wii. 6. He can explain almost anything he's read. 7. He has a very sweet testimony of the gospel. 8. He is a wonderful, tender and kind older brother.

So there you go. 8 years in the making. I have the best kid! Love you Caden!

Winter quarter grades:

4.0
4.0
3.8

Not quite so stellar as last quarter, but not too shabby either. ;)

I miss being married

Do not confuse this with 'I miss my ex-husband' because it's not the same thing. There are certain things that you get with being married, no matter who the other person is:

- The Illusion of Help - someone else might do the dishes, or come up with dinner ideas, or unclog the toilet. Without a husband, you know those things are all on you. And honestly, they were anyway, but the illusion was there...

- A Two-Prong Attack Approach to Parenting - when the other prong is missing it's mostly you just stabbing at things and hoping something will connect. Although possibly it's a horrible idea to follow this whole stabbingatyourkids thought process too far...but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say which is that someone else might take a turn at playing disciplinarian. Although again, this was kind of illusionary for me. I suppose this could also fall under the Illusion of Help.

- People Looking at You Normally - Okay, I am the first to admit that I probably don't fall under the umbrella of normal, but I'm not way out in left-field....more standing just outside the umbrella getting dripped on and trying to keep at least my head partially covered. But I digress. People (especially in the church) look at you differently when you don't have a husband. Do they feel sorry for you? Are they worried that you'll try to steal their husbands? Do they want to fix you up? The answer is YES. To all of them. Sometimes one at a time and sometimes all at the same time. It's annoying people; please stop doing it. I am the same girl I was before, only now I have better self-esteem.

- The Illusion of Love - Obviously the love was no longer with us in the end or we wouldn't have ended up divorced. But the idea that someone was there that loved you more than anything in the world, that would do anything for you just to see you smile, and that you felt the same way about.....oh, what a priceless feeling. Unfortunately it wasn't there for quite a while, so I'm thinking pretty far back in the marriage to remember this. Fortunately, you don't have to be married to feel this one. Although there are some HUGE benefits to being married that you can't (uh, SHOULDN'T) get while single. And I miss that one, big-time.

Of course, there are more, and they cross my mind every so often when things happen. But I'm running short on time (like always) and honestly you should just be grateful I posted something at all (don't you love my new spunky attitude? ;) I have faith that someday I'll get remarried, and undoubtedly it will be fantastic; I know that Heavenly Father has someone wonderful in store for me. In the meantime I will continue to muddle through and find joy in the journey.