I miss being married

Do not confuse this with 'I miss my ex-husband' because it's not the same thing. There are certain things that you get with being married, no matter who the other person is:

- The Illusion of Help - someone else might do the dishes, or come up with dinner ideas, or unclog the toilet. Without a husband, you know those things are all on you. And honestly, they were anyway, but the illusion was there...

- A Two-Prong Attack Approach to Parenting - when the other prong is missing it's mostly you just stabbing at things and hoping something will connect. Although possibly it's a horrible idea to follow this whole stabbingatyourkids thought process too far...but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say which is that someone else might take a turn at playing disciplinarian. Although again, this was kind of illusionary for me. I suppose this could also fall under the Illusion of Help.

- People Looking at You Normally - Okay, I am the first to admit that I probably don't fall under the umbrella of normal, but I'm not way out in left-field....more standing just outside the umbrella getting dripped on and trying to keep at least my head partially covered. But I digress. People (especially in the church) look at you differently when you don't have a husband. Do they feel sorry for you? Are they worried that you'll try to steal their husbands? Do they want to fix you up? The answer is YES. To all of them. Sometimes one at a time and sometimes all at the same time. It's annoying people; please stop doing it. I am the same girl I was before, only now I have better self-esteem.

- The Illusion of Love - Obviously the love was no longer with us in the end or we wouldn't have ended up divorced. But the idea that someone was there that loved you more than anything in the world, that would do anything for you just to see you smile, and that you felt the same way about.....oh, what a priceless feeling. Unfortunately it wasn't there for quite a while, so I'm thinking pretty far back in the marriage to remember this. Fortunately, you don't have to be married to feel this one. Although there are some HUGE benefits to being married that you can't (uh, SHOULDN'T) get while single. And I miss that one, big-time.

Of course, there are more, and they cross my mind every so often when things happen. But I'm running short on time (like always) and honestly you should just be grateful I posted something at all (don't you love my new spunky attitude? ;) I have faith that someday I'll get remarried, and undoubtedly it will be fantastic; I know that Heavenly Father has someone wonderful in store for me. In the meantime I will continue to muddle through and find joy in the journey.